Exciting new Smiths theme restaurant

20 12 2010

New Smiths theme restaurant.

Have to report it’s an opportunity missed, unfortunately. It seems the name has been taken by some chain called “Ask”. Bugger. Did not stop Dr Simon Anderson and myself working through this and coming up with ideas for most of the offer:

The Maitre’D wears a badge describing him precisely as “This Charming Man”

The vegetarian selection is, of course, named “Meat Is Murder”

“I Want the One I Can’t Have”  is the title of the dessert menu.

The kids’ menu is, unfortunately, called “Suffer Little Children”.

Has our order been served in full or are we still waiting for chips?
“You’ve Got Everything Now”

Morrissey couldn’t join us for dinner tonight, he’s “Still Ill”

Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup. “That Joke Isn’t Funny Anymore”

Where is our food? You said it was imminent. “How Soon is now?”

Excuse me sir, did you pay the full bill? “I Don’t Owe You Anything”.

Unhappy birthday to you etc etc. A magically relighting candle on the birthday cake: “There Is a Light That Never Goes Out”.

Depending on how many make choices from the dessert menu it might be the case that “Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others”.

Our portions are very generous. We often hear people say “I Started Something I Couldn’t Finish”.  

Parting words on leaving a tip to Bill, a grateful waiter: “William, It Was Really Nothing”.





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