From North Berwick to the Stars

Alternatives to Valium by Alastair McKay

“A few years ago, I asked Tom Petty how his songs had been influenced by his life. As a rule, songwriters aren’t keen on unpicking their work, and Petty was no exception. He didn’t want to get into specifics. ‘Life is so difficult,’ he said. ‘And easy. It’s just a chain of spontaneous events.’”

Alastair McKay grew up in the fading Scottish seaside town of North Berwick in the 1970s. The cinema and outdoor swimming pool were closing, there were boot boys in the park, and excitement was scarce.

An exceptionally shy boy, Alastair found his voice through the punk explosion: the ethos that ‘anyone could do it’ prompted him to start writing, largely because it was easier than talking. He also sang in a band that was tipped by Sounds magazine to be ‘big in 1982’. It wasn’t.

From these hesitant beginnings, he went on to an award-winning career in journalism that included meeting Iggy Pop at the Chateau Marmont, being led astray by Tilda Swinton, corresponding with Mark E. Smith and shooting the breeze with Dolly Parton.

I really, really enjoyed this book. It’s not just all the growing up in North Berwick stuff (which I VERY much enjoyed as it referred to so much of my own experiences, particularly at the High School, where I think I was four years behind the author) but the terrific insights to a wide range of musicians, from Rod Stewart to Mark E Smith and from Dolly Parton to Shane McGowan. It’s all just terrific.

In terms of the North Berwick elements there are some great references to the pubs of my youth, eg “The show took place in the function room of the Nether Abbey, a hotel favoured by rugby players, the owner of which was reputed to be Rod Stewart’s cousin.” He was indeed Rod’s cousin – see also below.

There is also a nice bit on the Quarterdeck (a pub I avoided) and also a bit on golf, where I had very similar experiences including autograph collection:

There is a lot of golf in the 1970s. It is a golden age. The Open comes to Muirfield in Gullane, followed by the Ryder Cup. I watch both tournaments through a cardboard periscope designed to resemble a carton of Embassy Regal cigarettes and learn to understand the religious hush of the golf spectator. I get the autographs of all the greats: Jack Nicklaus, Arnold Palmer, Seve Ballesteros, Tony Jacklin, Mr Lu. My favourite is Lee Trevino because he keeps up a running commentary as he hits balls at the driving range. He is a born comedian. He is a Texan-Mexican.

And a bit of politics too:

But these are febrile times. Politics is infecting everything. I am perhaps North Berwick’s only active member of Rock Against Racism and the Anti-Nazi League. I receive many letters from Irate Kate at the RAR headquarters suggesting I form a cell, and enquiring whether I have met any like-minded souls at the disco in Aberlady Community Hall.

Meanwhile, back at the High School, this passage brought back many memories both of the teacher named here, Mrs Turner, and the wonder of the annual school musical. The year in question featured a performance of Salad Days. My experience of the school musical started the year after. I couldn’t really sing either.

Mrs Turner holds auditions for the school show. It is a terrible process. We are lined up next to the piano and she is listening to our singing. The songs are terrible. Musicals are terrible. But everyone wants to be in the show. I hate musicals. I want to be in the show. It is all quite routine. The popular extroverts and solidly middle-class people are found to have excellent voices. When she gets to me Mrs Turner looks worried, then appalled. It is like the Happy Smile Club all over again. ‘Yes, Alastair,’ she says. ‘It’s the chorus for you. And it would be best if you just mouthed the words. Do not attempt to make a noise.’

But I think some of my favourite bits in the book relate to Rod Stewart:

Rod Stewart came to North Berwick and almost nobody noticed. In the 1974 edition of the North Berwick High School magazine Judith Laing of year 2A writes a story called ‘A Very Well-Kept Secret’. It is a short report of a visit made by Rod Stewart to North Berwick on Sunday, the 19th of May, the day after he had visited Hampden Park to see a Scotland side captained by Billy Bremner beat England by two goals to nil in front of a crowd of 95,000. Rod had spent the Saturday night in Edinburgh and then popped down to Dirleton and North Berwick to meet relatives. ‘The very first thing he did was to play football on the back green,’ Judith Laing writes. ‘He was looking as stunning as ever. After having a quick drink and chat, he gave us his autograph and then, leaving his magnificent Rolls (with colour TV, cassette recorders etc.), he walked calmly down to my uncle’s hotel where he had lunch.’ After lunch at the Nether Abbey Hotel, where Rod signed more autographs, he returned for a game of football and then some photographs. ‘He was very nice and was always joking and laughing,’ Judith notes, ‘and he seemed to enjoy himself a lot. When he left, waving his Scottish flag from the car window, we were sorry to see him go.’ 

I’ve heard part of this story before from a friend who is one of the relatives who Rod met that day in Dirleton. I’m not certain he was that impressed with his footballing skills though.

Later in life McKay has a couple of encounters with Rod including this interview with him in a Glasgow hotel (drink had been taken) where the Stewart entourage includes ‘Doc’ and Rod’s brothers:

By now the mess is threatening to get messier. Doc asks whether I come from Glasgow. No, I say, Edinburgh. ‘That’s a bit fucking awkward,’ he says. ‘Leith?’ says one of Rod’s brothers hopefully. I mention North Berwick. ‘You mean Dennis Stewart and the Nether Abbey and all that shit? I know them so well,’ says Doc. ‘And the Iona Hotel,’ says Rod. ‘The Iona,’ says Doc. ‘And the Golf. The Castle at Dirleton. The Open Arms. And The Ship Inn. I know The Ship Inn. Nice place. I went to North Berwick twenty years in succession for my holidays.’

So, I might be a bit biased because of the North Berwick element but I think anyone who grew up in a small town and engaged with music as at least some form of escape in the 70s onwards will find plenty to relate to here. Lovely stuff and highly recommended.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

A quick look at a musical diversion

Just a quick word from one of our related blogs, this one featuring a weekly set of album reviews which started during lockdown. There are plenty of interesting choices and brief and very occasionally insightful observations on records old and new from a largely unqualified trio of reviewers.

Do feel free to have a look. Or not.

https://seconddivisionalbumclub.wordpress.com

Let’s hear it for the band

Daisy Jones and the Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid

 

They were the new icons of rock and roll, fated to burn bright and not fade away.
But on 12 July 1979, it all came crashing down.

There was Daisy, rock and roll force of nature, brilliant songwriter and unapologetic drug addict, the half-feral child who rose to superstardom.

There was Camila, the frontman’s wife, too strong-willed to let the band implode – and all too aware of the electric connection between her husband and Daisy.

There was Karen, ice-cool keyboardist, a ferociously independent woman in a world that wasn’t ready for her.

And there were the men surrounding them: the feuding, egotistical Dunne brothers, the angry guitarist chafing on the sidelines, the drummer binge-drinking on his boat, the bassist trying to start a family amid a hedonistic world tour. They were creative minds striking sparks from each other, ready to go up in flames.

It’s never just about the music…

I always enjoy this kind of thing and wasn’t disappointed. There are plenty of cliches of rock excess in here (and some musical stereotypes too)  and the journalistic style with the interspersing of a range of first person recollections can be a little wearing at times but on the whole it really tears along and takes the reader on a rollercoaster ride with the soaring 70s band after which the book is named.

Two downsides only. Firstly, it really doesn’t seem credible that an established band would allow a new member to join and then put their name up front without a hell of a contractual argument. Secondly, I never can stand fictional songs. Analysing songs which never actually existed (and the lyrics of which are appended in full) has always struck me as particularly pointless.

It reminded me a lot of Iain Banks’ wonderful Espedair Street (which I now need to go back and read again soon) but didn’t quite match some of the background detail and rich texture of the story of Frozen Gold although many of the features, styling and influences are similar.

Anyway, if like me you are a sucker for a cracking story about a fictional band then this comes highly recommended.

 

Not as good as the Fall: Approximation of a Playlist §71

Artists not wholly despised by Mark E Smith

 

 

Having commented on a collection of previous Fall-related posts I was reminded of the fact that MES was notoriously scathing of other musicians and bands but in his autobiography he did name a perhaps surprisingly eclectic group of artists of whom he didn’t wholly disapprove. Although none of them were a patch on the mighty Fall of course. There are some interesting inclusions…

Can
The Kinks
Sex Pistols
The Stooges
Led Zeppelin
The Las
Chuck Berry
John Cooper Clarke
Buzzcocks
T.Rex
Happy Mondays
Stone Roses

And, perhaps most surprisingly

Alvin Stardust
Gary Glitter

plus, in a recent interview, he did express some enthusiasm for Sleaford Mods

It’s certainly an interesting list.

For the Fans: Approximation of a playlist §70

Football team nicknames

Some football teams really do have rather odd nicknames (others are a bit more obvious though):

I’m Your Villain – Franz Ferdinand

Go Now – The Moody Blues

Ram jam – Black Betty

White winter hymnal – Fleet Foxes

Canary In A Coalmine – The Police

Good Technology – Red Guitars

Green Hornet – Al Hirt

If I Had A Hammer – Mel Torme

Royal correspondent – Manic Street Preachers

Tiger Feet – Mud

Werewolves of London – Warren Zevon

Buffalo stance – Neneh Cherry

The Birds And The Bees – Jewel Akens

I Ran (So Far Away) – A Flock of Seagulls

Rockin’ Robin – The Jackson 5

The Lion Sleeps Tonight – Tight Fit

Bootie Call – All Saints

Magpie – Abraham

Darlin’ – Frankie Miller

Baggy Trousers – Madness

Ride A White Swan – T.Rex

Hey Dude Kula Shaker

Young Hearts Run Free – Candi Staton

A Forest – The Cure

Back of My Hand – Jags

I’m sure there are plenty more.

Chinese New Year: approximation of a playlist §69

Songs concerned with the Chinese Zodiac

A mildly topical playlist…

Black Horse And The Cherry Tree – KT Tunstall

Rattlesnakes – Lloyd Cole & the Commotions

Digging Your Scene – The Blow Monkeys

Rat Race – The Specials

The Size Of A Cow – The Wonder Stuff

Rabbit – Chas ‘n’ Dave

I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor – Arctic Monkeys

Who Let The Dogs Out – B-Boyz

Union Of The Snake – Duran Duran

A Horse With No Name – America

I Wanna Be Your Dog – The Stooges

Papa’s Got A Brand New Pigbag – Pig Bag

Who’s Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses – U2

Tiger Feet – Mud

Sheep – The Housemartins

Wild Horses – The Rolling Stones

Mama Told Me Not To Come – Three Dog Night

Monkey gone to heaven – The Pixies

Spanish Horses – Aztec Camera

Diamond dogs – David Bowie

And Dreams of Sheep – Kate Bush

Rat Trap – The Boomtown Rats

Mansize rooster – Supergrass

Ox-ford Comma – Vampire Weekend

Goatman – Goat

Radioactive – Imagine Dragons

Little Red Rooster – Rolling Stones

 

Happy New Year!

Helpful advice: approximation of a playlist §68

Songs concerned with providing helpful advice

 

Don’t You Worry ‘Bout A Thing – Incognito

You Can’t Hurry Love  – Diana Ross & The Supremes

You Can’t Always Get What You Want – The Rolling Stones

Don’t Marry Her – The Beautiful South

Honey Be Good – The Bible

Don’t look back in anger  – Oasis

Your Mother Should Know – The Beatles

Don’t Sleep In The Subway – Petula Clark

Treat Her Like A Lady – The Temptations

Don’t put your daughter on the stage Mrs Worthington – Vic Reeves

Drive Safely Darlin’  – Tony Christie

 

 

 

Handle with Care – Travelling Wilburys

Don’t Fear the Reaper – Blue Oyster Cult

Your Mother Should Know – The Beatles

Don’t Let Him Waste Your Time – Nancy Sinatra

White Lines (Don’t Do It) – Grandmaster Flash & Melle Mel

Don’t cry for me Argentina  – Julie Covington

You Should Be Dancing – Bee Gees

Billy Don’t Be A Hero – Paper Lace

Don’t talk – 10,000 Maniacs

 
Wise words indeed.

Cheggers played pop: approximation of a playlist §67

Just a few of the artists who appeared on one extraordinary TV show

Cheggers Plays Pop was a classic game show (with an impossibly enthusiastic host) which involved a series of quiz rounds for kids interspersed with some music. What I always enjoyed was the sheer variety of the bands showcased. As this eclectic sample of performers demonstrates:

Suzi Quatro – If You Can’t Give Me Love

Slade – Give Us A Goal

Showaddywaddy – I Wonder Why

Mud – Cut Across Shorty

Sailor – All I Need Is A Girl

Darts – The Boy From New York City

The Dooleys – Don’t Take It Lyin Down

Brotherhood Of Man – Beautiful Lover

Lindisfarne – Run For Home

Brian & Michael – Ma, When’s Me Dad Coming Home/Matchstick Men…

Racey – Some Girls

Rocky Sharpe & the Replays – Imagination

The Real Thing – Can You Feel The Force

M – Pop Musik

The Monks – Nice Legs, Shame About The Face

Dollar – Who Were You With In The Moonlight

The Wurzels – Wurzeling Time in Somerset

The Grumbleweeds – Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick/Do You Think I’m Sexy

The Krankies – Charlie Brown

The Buggles – Clean Clean

Shakin’ Stevens – Hot Dog

Barbara Dickson – January February

The Lambrettas – Poison Ivy

Dexys Midnight Runners – Geno

Undertones – My Perfect Cousin

Bad Manners – Ne Ne Na Na Na Na Nu Nu

New Seekers – Tell Me

Jona Lewie – You’ll Always Find Me In The Kitchen At Parties

B.A.Robertson – To Be Or Not To Be

Bucks Fizz – Making Your Mind Up

Coast To Coast – Do The Hucklebuck

Duran Duran – Planet Earth

The Beat – All Out To Get You

Toyah – I Want To Be Free

Department S – Is Vic There?

999 – Obsessed

Paul Shane & Ruth Madoc – Hi De Hi (Holiday Rock)

Tenpole Tudor – Swords Of A Thousand Men

Modern Romance – Ay Ay Ay Ay Moosey

Altered Images – See Those Eyes

A Flock Of Seagulls – I Ran

Classix Nouveaux – Is It A Dream

Alvin Stardust – Weekend

Bananarama & Fun Boy Three – Really Saying Something

Madness – House Of Fun

Haircut 100 – Fantastic Day

Bow Wow Wow – See Jungle (Jungle Boy)

Tight Fit – Fantasy Island

Yazoo – Only You

ABC – The Look Of Love

Nolans – Crashing Down

JoBoxers – Just Got Lucky

Big Country – In A Big Country

The Police – Every Breath You Take

The Fun Adicts – Bad Boys

Thompson Twins – Hold Me Now

Blancmange – Don’t Tell Me

Bluebells – I’m Falling

Captain Sensible – Glad It’s All Over

Matt Bianco – Sneakin’ Out The Backdoor

Kajagoogoo – Turn Your Back

Nik Kershaw – Dancing Girls

Hazel Dean – Searching

Pauline Black – Pirates On The Airways

Flying Pickets – When You’re Young And In Love

Boomtown Rats – Drag Me Down

Limahl – Two Much Trouble

Spandau Ballet – Only When You Leave

Scritti Politti – Absolute

David Cassidy – Someone

Strawberry Switchblade – Jolene

Erasure – Who Needs Love Like That

Depeche Mode – It’s Called A Heart

Level 42 – Something About You

Ruby Turner – Bye Bye

The Stranglers – Nice In Nice

Hollywood Beyond – No More Tears

Amazulu – Montego Bay

Curiosity Killed The Cat – Misfit

The Housemartins – Think For A Minute

Kim Wilde – You Keep Me Hanging On

Red Box – For America

And finally, in episode 82, on 7th November 1986:

Dr & the Medics – Burn

 

Really not the Alan Bennett of pop

Bedsit Disco Queen by Tracey Thorn

‘I was only sixteen when I bought an electric guitar and joined a band. A year later, I formed an all-girl band called the Marine Girls and played gigs, and signed to an indie label, and started releasing records.

‘Then, for eighteen years, between 1982 and 2000, I was one half of the group Everything But the Girl. In that time, we released nine albums and sold nine million records. We went on countless tours, had hit singles and flop singles, were reviewed and interviewed to within an inch of our lives. I’ve been in the charts, out of them, back in. I’ve seen myself described as an indie darling, a middle-of-the-road nobody and a disco diva. I haven’t always fitted in, you see, and that’s made me face up to the realities of a pop career – there are thrills and wonders to be experienced, yes, but also moments of doubt, mistakes, violent lifestyle changes from luxury to squalor and back again, sometimes within minutes.’

From post-punk teen-band rivalry in suburban Hertfordshire to international chart-topping success via a shared bedsit in Hull, three decades of touring and making music, and collaborations with Paul Weller, Massive Attack and dance legend Todd Terry – this is the funny, perceptive and candid true story of how Tracey Thorn grew up and tried to be a pop star.

I feel like I’ve grown up with Tracey Thorn. Her first solo album and the early EBTG recordings were pretty much the soundtrack to my late school and university years. As a result I found this memoir absolutely fascinating. Genuinely frank and funny it is a really easy read and offers real insight into the music business. Comparisons with any northern playwright, writer and diarist are very wide of the mark though (no matter what Caitlin Moran says).
 

Naked at the Albert Hall by Tracey Thorn

 

Part memoir, part wide-ranging exploration of the art, mechanics and spellbinding power of singing, Naked at the Albert Hall takes in Dusty Springfield, Dennis Potter and George Eliot; Auto-tune, the microphone and stage presence; The Streets and The X Factor. Including interviews with fellow artists such as Alison Moyet, Romy Madley-Croft and Green Gartside of Scritti Politti, and portraits of singers in fiction as well as Tracey’s real-life experiences, it offers a unique, witty and sharply observed insider’s perspective on the exhilarating joy and occasional heartache of singing.

A natural sequel to Bedsit Disco Queen in this book Tracey Thorn covers the realities of being a singer together with lots of insights into the music industry. Full of rich anecdotes and frank commentary as well as observations from her peers, Thorn does a great job in covering singing in a fresh and entertaining way.

Morrissey University Lyrics Confusion

University + Staircase = ??

 

I’ve been listening to Morrissey’s most recent offering, World Peace is None of Your Business and, as with most Morrissey outputs, I rather like it. However, I remain very confused about the lyrics to one of the tracks, ‘Staircase at the University’, which includes the lines:

A staircase. At a university

“If you don’t get three As,” her sweet daddy said
You’re no child of mine and as far as I’m concerned, you’re dead
“If you don’t get three As,” her sweet daddy said
You’re no child of mine and as far as I’m concerned, you’re dead

Staircase at the university
She threw herself down and her head split three ways

OK, classic pushy parent, bit exaggerated for effect (and indeed supported by boyfriend in next verse), disappointed by exam results, prompts daughter’s suicide. Pretty standard Morrissey fayre. But what I don’t get is if the girl was sitting her A levels or had not achieved the required results, what was she doing in the university?

The full lyrics, which don’t help matters much, are available here.

So, what is going on here? What is she doing at the university?

Possible scenarios:

1. She received an offer from a university (with a staircase) and went on a UCAS visit day but, knowing she wasn’t going to get three As, decided to end it all.
2. Knowing her exam performance wasn’t going to deliver three As she decided to go to the nearest university to find a staircase to ensure her father and boyfriend would get the message.
3. She didn’t get three As but did get a place via clearing at another university. But one that did have a staircase. She decided late in the day to end it all.
4. Her “sweet daddy” in fact worked in a university (let’s just assume all universities have a staircase from now on) and she was visiting him when they had a discussion about her A levels and it ended badly.
5. The A grades in question are in fact university exam grades rather than A levels although not many places use letter grades these days and the consequences of not getting three As in one set of exams would probably be less significant.

I’m sure there are other explanations. But I’m still confused.